Life goes on...

I kind of feel like that's my theme for today, like it or not, life goes on. Whether I'm ready for it to or not. Tomorrow I have to go back to work. Now, as bored as I have been stuck in the apartment for the last five days, I am dreading going back to the office. Especially tomorrow morning. Mornings have been real rough with pain and taking meds and passing out. However, that will not be an option tomorrow. At 8 am I have to return to my life, go into work and handle my responsibilities, even if I'm in pain.

I also need to get back to working out. I was doing so well and killing it in the gym before all this teeth mess happened and I need to get back to that state of mind and motivation. Regina's wedding is five months from today! I have a lot of work to do. Tonight I did some jumping jacks, squats, crunches, etc. and my mouth was throbbing after. But I can't let that stop me. I have goals. I have things I want to do...like run in a 5K Memorial Day weekend with the other ladies of the bridal party. I need to start working on that and push through this pain.

I've also spent a lot time today thinking about the past and situations that were holding me back. More than anything, these last five days have made me feel more alone than ever. I had to do for myself, no matter how badly I hurt. No one that could take care of me, no one to hug me, no one to rub my back and stroke my hair. This was incredibly sad. As much as I love my independence, there are times you just want someone else there who cares intimately about you. Not having that is really getting to me. My friends with benefits situation that ended in January was the emotional and moral (and physical) support I needed to get through tough things. While it was great and I miss it constantly, its never going to be what I truly need or deserve and I have to move on, its just proving to be incredibly difficult. I have to continue to be strong and remind myself that "taking what you can get" isn't better than waiting for what you deserve.