Investing in Myself

Last night was a night of realizations for me, on many fronts. My good friend Lydia and I went to Happy Hour at the Symphony. It was spectacular! I've forgotten how amazing it is to hear instrumental music live and how calming it can be. To say that I had a great time would be an enormous understatement.

I was taken by surprise by how many people our age were in attendance. If fact, I would say the at least 70 percent of the audience were people in their 20s and 30s. Have I been missing out on this trend of classical music enthusiasts in my own generation? Where was I when this happened? Why am I not an active member of this movement? Clearly its time to change that. I'm seriously considering becoming a member of Fotre, a young professionals group that grants access to the ISO along with volunteer opportunities and discounts. I was shocked to see that membership is only $39 per season.

The second realization was that not only were these people my age attending the symphony, they looked amazing. All were very well put together. Dressed for success. Then something hit me. Maybe my clothes are holding me back. Perhaps the fact that I don't pay too much attention to my wardrobe is a reason that I'm not where I want to be professionally, or, dare I say it, personally.

See, I grew up poor. Like, occasionally-coming-home-to-no-electricity-because-we-couldn't-afford-to-pay-the-bill poor. We were never on food stamps (although I'm sure we could have qualified) and to my knowledge never took any type of government assistance. But, no doubt about it, we lived below the poverty line. I feel like people who grow up in this kind of circumstance either take one of two routes in adulthood: they start to make a steady income and begin allowing themselves the luxuries they never had before, or they continue to live the lifestyle their accustomed to because its really all they know.

I have definitely done the latter. I don't take trips...I can never "afford" it. I don't save money well. I don't buy expensive clothes...in fact, I'm not sure I've ever paid more than $30 for a pair of shoes. The thought of shopping in stores like Lane Bryant makes me cringe because, while I love their clothes, I know the amount of money I'd spend on a single outfit could buy me three at a place like Old Navy (my store of choice). However, as a result, my fashion is less than on point. Sometimes my clothes are ill-fitting and more often than not, look old (because they are), and cheap (because they are).

I'm trying to view updating my wardrobe as more than shelling out more money than I'd usually spend for clothes...I'm trying, with much difficulty, to view it as an investment in myself. I mean, yes, weight loss is a major investment in myself, but why wait until my journey is over to look good? Why can't I look good right now? In the process?

I feel like 2012 has already been a big year of growth and progress for me and I'm excited to take this next step, which to many may seem small, but to poor girl from a po-dunk town is rather large, to show people who I really am. This is my undying effort to make my outer person match my inner person.

Any plus size fashion tips or advice that you have, please share, I am all ears!