What's a happenin!?

Alright devoted readers (all what, two of you?) - I know its been forever since I posted a blog and I apologize for that. Sometimes life gets crazy and things suffer. However, I'm back and refocused on what I'm going to devote my little patch of cyberspace to....but more on that later.

So, there's a man in my life, how exciting. Actually, he's been there for about three years, I just didn't realize that he was "the one". Ugh, I really hate that phrase, but it is the truth. He's the only person I want to spend forever with, talk about nothing with, experience life with. He's it.

We actually met three years ago when I was volunteering at a large event and he was working. We dated briefly in 2011, but called it quits due to what appeared to a be different moral code (ie politics and religion). However, we've remained friends and in the last few months have grown very close...to the point where one day I was all like, hey I think I'm in love with you and he was all like, hey, I was just going to say the same thing. Yeah, that's pretty much how it went down.

So, I'm super happy and in love and learning how to be in a relationship after nearly a decade. I'm even going to move in with him in October, a bitter sweet event. I'm excited to take the next step in our relationship, but sad to leave my apartment that I'm in love with and even sadder to move to what is quite possibly the most racistly named town in America (Whitestown, IN).

Now, on to the reason for the re-emergence of this blog - I'm having baratric surgery. It has been hands down the hardest decision I've ever made and the preparation I've undertaken thus far are some of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. As I type this right now, I'm eating a banana with a fork....A FORK!

However, I know its going to be the best decision of my life. Of course, it will not be without sacrifice and hardships, which I am ready to face head-on. Limiting the intake of your food is difficult. Dealing with the emotions associated with why you eat is tough. Listening to your body and being mindful of every bite that goes into your mouth is a nerving.

Going into this, I felt a little guilty. I felt a little ashamed. Why couldn't I do this on my own? Why couldn't I just eat healthy and exercise like a normal person? Why was I taking the easy way out. However, after the months I've spent preparing for this surgery (look for more posts on that) I can tell you that this will not be easy. It's going to take more work and more dedication than I've ever given anything. It's going to test my strength and sanity to its core. It's going to require me to examine every single part of my life and determine how I can make it better. It's going to be fucking hard.

But I'm ready. I'm excited. I'm motivated. This summer is going to be the summer that changes everything. Forever. And I promise to keep you all in the loop!